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07 March 2009 @ 09:17 am
My gramma decided to wake me up this morning at 8 am because there's a virus on the computer.  Apparently, she was surfing the web and checking her e-mail at the buttcrack of dawn. 


Fuuuuuuck me.

where:: crazy house.
feeling like:: groggygroggy
soundtrack:: me sneezing.
07 March 2009 @ 01:29 am
Watchmen was pretty awesome.  It started kinda slow, but it picked up.

I don't have much of importance to say lately.

...that's about it.
where:: a rut.
feeling like:: discontentdiscontent
soundtrack:: jeff buckley - hallelujah
05 March 2009 @ 05:23 pm
So, an update.  My grandma blew up on me yesterday and literally pushed me out of the house yesterday, and she locked me out.  She went crazy on me for no reason.  That type of shit happens more and more frequently lately, and I really don't know what to do about it, aside from getting out of this house as soon as fucking possible.

Lane came to get me, though.  She's my savior.  We hung out at Brookstone 'cause Alec was working, and then we went back to Mike's house and talked and smoked pretty much all night.  It was pretty ballin'.

Today feels like a lazy summer day, even though it snowed about a week ago.  And I hope Alec gets home soon, so I can cuddle him. I'm missing on him a lot.

Oh, how I love that boy.

Roadtrip to Ohio this summer with Lane and Dillon.  I really can't wait.  I have no idea what's in store in the next coming weeks, but I'm really excited.

where:: same ole.
feeling like:: tiredtired
soundtrack:: the grandfather clock chiming.
03 March 2009 @ 12:11 am
I find it so hard to keep in touch with everyone and everything.  I always seem to leave someone or something out.  Apparently, I'm a neglectful twat.

But you know that, my poor sweet Livejournal.  I neglected you for almost three years.  For shame.

I fail at life.

feeling like:: disappointeddisappointed
soundtrack:: a nuvaring commercial.
01 March 2009 @ 03:22 pm
Oh my GOD.  Best sex ever.  I think I might have died a little inside.

A nap sounds so good right now.  I wish Alec didn't have to be at work in a few minutes.

where:: O TOWN.
feeling like:: goodglowing.
01 March 2009 @ 02:41 am
Alec is stinking up my bedroom.  Poor baby's sick.  :(

It snowed, and we didn't play in it.  Stupid sickness.  I feel bad he's sick on his day off, especially when we haven't gotten this much snow in A LONG TIME.  It was actually fluffy and pretty, too.  

I hope he feels better in the morning, and maybe there will still be lots of snow on the ground for frolicking.

I'm feeling really overwhelmed.

That is all.

feeling like:: sleepysleepy
soundtrack:: infommercial for birth control jeans? o.O))
26 February 2009 @ 05:34 pm
I have no idea where anyone is right now.  I think I might be home alone, and it's kind of creepy.  I'm so tired.  I want to take a card from Iorek Byrnison and hibernate.  Stupid Lyra.  I want a polar bear as my guardian and best friend.  I wanna ride on his back and be the lead character of an amazing novel.  Why can't I ever have dreams like that?  Dreams that actually depict my DAYDREAMS.  Furthermore, why can't my life just be that amazing?  I want an altheiometer to lead me around.  Then maybe I'd have some answers, a guide of sorts.

Too many thoughts.  I need a cigarette to clear my head, but I have no idea what is wrong with the back door.  It won't open.  I think my grandpa might have locked the bad lock?  

I'm happy Alec is gonna be off work for two days.  I miss him.

I should shower and get dressed, but I probably won't.


where:: same old.
feeling like:: exhaustedexhausted
soundtrack:: clean house.
26 February 2009 @ 01:27 am
I don't understand why the best people in this world have the absolute worst experiences.  I really don't think I wanna know the reason, either.  But it still bothers me.  Is Karma sleeping on the job?


I'm so tired, and I just don't have much of value to say anymore.  I fill all that empty space up with noise, any noise.  I even confuse myself.  I think everyone must think I'm an utter nimrod.  Why the fuck can't I just say what I mean?

I just wanna find balance.  I wanna find a common ground, a medium, a purpose, a place of rest.  I've been praying for all of these things each night.

Maybe I'm just not paying attention to signs... or maybe God has been listening to His iPod too loudly?

Oh.  FYI, I'm gonna try to keep this thing updated.  That is all.  More later.
feeling like:: blahblah
soundtrack:: dance competition on gramma's tv.
31 August 2006 @ 10:13 pm
It was made apparent to me today that I have no life whatsoever, except for the one I've imagined, dreamt. 

..and then someone pinched me. 

When I woke up, it was devastating.   I don't think I've ever cried that hard in my entire life.
feeling like:: crushedcrushed
soundtrack:: Chevelle - One Lonely Visitor
20 July 2006 @ 12:13 am
As the Sparrow by Charles Bukowski

To give life you must take life,
and as our grief falls flat and hollow
upon the billion-blooded sea
I pass upon serious inward-breaking shoals rimmed
with white-legged, white-bellied rotting creatures
lengthily dead and rioting against surrounding scenes.
Dear child, I only did to you what the sparrow
did to you; I am old when it is fashionable to be
young; I cry when it is fashionable to laugh.
I hated you when it would have taken less courage
to love.